My Grandparents, Part One

Being able to have known all of my grandparents at least into my high school years was such a blessing, mostly. My father's parents were my favorites, probably because I was able to really know them early in my life, and probably because they spoiled me rotten. When I was six, my mother was pregnant with my sister, and taking care of Herb and me was undoubtedly wearing on her six weeks before the delivery. So when my grandad showed up for a visit, he offered to take me home with him on the train, riding from Columbus to Long Island, New York. The two months I spent with them were a child's best dream, and I apparently was not one bit homesick! No wonder! We went out for dinner on the weekends (YUMMMMMY clams at Howard Johnson's!); my grandmother took me on the train into New York City for shopping, lunch, and to see a show at Radio City Music Hall, and then we would meet my grandfather for dinner at Stouffer's before returning home. Ahhhh, they trained me perfectly! On normal weekdays, my granddad would ride the Long Island Railroad to work in the city and would return home around 6. While he was gone, in the morning we would stay quite busy: cleaning, as she taught me how to dust even the table legs and to polish silver and brass, even the doorknobs; baking pies, cakes, and cookies; preserving any fresh veggies or fruit or making jams; weeding the garden; planning dinner; washing clothes with a wringer machine, hanging them out, and ironing them (I was convinced that I could iron handkerchieves better than anyone else). For lunch we would make applesauce sandwiches with powdered sugar and cinnamon on top, or have Crosse and Blackwell Cream of Celery soup with toast squares. Ahhhh... and then would come the lovely afternoons. Those were the best part. She almost always listened to the afternoon soaps on the radio, and so I became entranced with the adventures, such as "Stella Dallas, Backstage Wife." We also read and read and read. She was the one who really encouraged me to read all kinds of things I would find lying around, such as the Lambs' "Child's Version of Shakespeare." What a lovely memory for me, as I think back on the wonderful times we spent together. Maybe even some of our grands will think back with smiles on time spent with us. I hope so!!!

Grandchildren of Note

It would follow that if children had a mother who was a professional clarinetist "of note," then they, too, might just have some musical interests and inclinations, especially if their father was also musical and grew up singing in chorus groups at school. This has always been shown in our two grandsons, Jonny and Christian. One summer we helped take care of Jonny while Kim taught at Interlochen Center for the Arts. As we walked him in his stroller, we heard music everywhere, and Jonny listened to it intently, waving his arms in time to the music, conducting all of the orchestral sounds we heard along the way. The high school kids passing by just loved it! Four years later, both boys have developed an ear for music and have already discovered some favorites. As their Granddad drives them around, they love for him to play his imaginary keyboard along with the classical music on CD, which is obligatory when we drive with them. During the last musical session, he put on a CD of Beethoven, who apparently is no longer the man of the hour. "No, Granddad!" came the echoes from the backseat. "No, Beethoven! We want Tchaikovsky!" Not bad for five and three!

Mondays

For several years now, Mondays have become special days for us, which we will greatly miss when we begin wandering again. On Mondays the older three children have been taking music lessons at the Omaha Conservatory, which total about three hours of time altogether. Needless to say, that was not much fun for the twins, so we and they decided that the time would be spent with us. Sometimes we have taken field trips to various places, which often included lunch out at a place of their mutual agreement, and sometimes we just goofed off at home, making lunch here, and also baking something, as well. One of our Monday field trips was our trying to get all of the facts to identify and locate the criminals who broke into our car, which the girls thought was great fun. At other times, we went over to Council Bluffs to pick up checks at the auction house where we had put antique goods up for sale. There were many things for them to see there, and we finished with lunch at the Old Market downtown at the Spaghetti Warehouse or Upstream Pub, both of which they chose. Needless to say, this did NOT go over very well with the older grands, who would immediately pump the girls for the pertinent info: "All right, where did you go today?" or "Well, what did you make for lunch this time?" At one point, the twins decided they would just not answer, but Keilah would always find a way to worm the answer out of Sarah. Now, this year, Susannah has decided that the Conservatory "is just TOO much pressure for me," and Liddy had taken on the advanced work there. So now we have the two S's on Mondays. Yesterday all of us were exploding in gales of laughter as Granddad taught the two how to play "Chopsticks" and "Heart and Soul." Then we made chocolate chip cookie bars and a wonderful lunch of grilled salami, cheese, tomato, and lettuce sandwiches. Mondays are such fun!

Why Butterflies?

My mother was one of those lovely, talented, exceptionally happy people, the kind of person who cared about others and made others smile. She finished her teaching credentials the same year I did, and so we both also began to teach that year. As over the years doctors discovered heart problems, she retired from teaching and began persuing Spanish, swimming, cooking, and relaxing. Sadly, shortly after her 60th birthday, she died suddenly from congenital heart failure. From notes we found in her desk, she was quite aware of the cardiac problems, yet she continued to live each day in joy. Indeed, the girls and I were over at the house, swimming, laughing, and relaxing with her on Sunday, the day before she died. When the phone rang on Monday morning, and I heard my father's voice, I instinctively knew the ultimate reality, even though life support kept her alive for several hours. And in the hours following her death, the entire family was in shock, totally unprepared for the event. It was so difficult for my brother and me to relate the news to my grandmother in town and to my sister and brother out of town, and to figure out how to deal with a devastated father. Yet, we all had to learn to cope, and so we all began to deal with the realilty and plan the service that she would have wanted. We remembered that Mom, an excellent pianist, had always loved a particular piece, "Le Papillion," "the butterfly" in French, and my sister hunted for the music. When she found it, we were all astonished at the words handwritten on it by her long-time-ago piano teacher, "Begin practicing on Monday, June 11," as that was the very day she died. When my sister, sister-in-law, and I went to the church to select the music, we looked up and saw large, colorful, beautiful quilted panels hanging from the front of the sanctuary, adorned with lovely bitterflies! What a coincidence, we thought. Through all of this, I had worked hard to be supportive to the family, but I suddenly felt in need of support, myself, and called upon a dear Episcopalean priest, Charles Fish, who agreed to see my sister and me after a morning communion service, which was also comforting. While sitting in his office, with massive tears, I explained what a hard time I was having in dealing with it all. In his usual calm manner, he replied, "I understand, Judy, why you are so upset. You see, you remember your mother as she WAS, not as she is NOW." He then reached up behind him to a shelf and pulled down a small box. He opened the lid, removed something, and held out his hand. There lying on his hand was the shell of a caterpiller, and he explained, "Just like this caterpiller, your mother has turned into a beautiful butterfly, has flown away, and has soared to new heights." The tears that followed were a combination of relief and joy, just as they are right now as I write this. Susie and I left, not only comforted, but convinced that Mom knew exactly what was happening and had left us a message. When we returned to the house, an amazing thing happened! Right before our eyes, there in plain sight, but never noticed before, were butterflies everywhere! They appeared on china, on vases, on towels, on art, on wall hangings, and even on the toilet paper!

So, if any of you see any one of us wearing butterflies or having butterflies in our homes, now you know why! They represent a very special person to us, when we realized how the butterfly so clearly symbolizes the beginning of a NEW life, one that we have had reason to celebrate every day!

The Soccer Results!

The latest on the Dynamites is great news! The game was a hard-played one, as the other team was equally matched in skills, a bit bigger, and definitely more aggressive. After the ref's whistle blew for the final time, the score was tied 2-2, with no overtimes in these games. As it happened the two Dynamite goals were scored by Liddy and.....SARAH! My goodness, what a difference a few months made! Miss Sarah was out there to play hard, and she was just terrific, as was Miss Lydia, of course! After I congratulated them on being a superb Team H... , Liddy corrected me. "No, Grammy, we were just a part of Team Dynamite." I do stand corrected, too, and I am thankful that their coach is instilling that type of team sportsmanship. Go, Team Dynamite!

Happy Birthday!

One of our five sons turns another year older today! Monday nights are just not good for birthday parties, so we had the celebration on Saturday night, with 13 of us gathered to toast his new year. The eight adults have become such good friends, partially resulting from our church's dinner groups, called Suppers 8, designed to put four couples together to get to know one another better. We already knew Beth, Harold, Rachael, and Dennis, as well as our kids, of course, but when the blind drawing put all of us together in the Suppers 8 group, the frivolity really began! We have had All-American, Italian, German, Mexican, and seafood dinner parties that have outcooked even Rachel, Giada, and Emeril! We have laughed until tears streamed down our cheeks! In short, the company has been absolutely extraordinary! The party for the Birthday Boy was no exception, and the 5 grands enjoyed it, too! Happy, happy Birthday, Mr. T! We love you!

Yeah! It's Soccer Time Again!

For years, ever since my brother Herbo played Little League baseball, I have loved kids' sports. When the girls were growing up, there were several years when on the weekends I simply ran from one soccer field to another, and I can remember running the lines on a freezing, rainy day when no one else would stay outside to watch the game. You know how bad it must have been if they had ME doing it! But I simply enjoyed watching the girls play. You can then imagine how much fun it is for the two of us to watch the grandchildren here at their sports. We haven't made all of the games they play, since all five of them sometimes have multiple games a week, between volleyball, basketball, baseball, soccer, and swimming. Today, it's the first soccer game of the season for us to watch the twins, and that is truly a delight! When they first began playing, the coach (daughter Kristy) had her doubts about Sarah, as during the first game, Sarah simply laid down on the field in the middle of the game. However, even Sarah has become pretty good, and as goalie, she saved some major points last year. We keep encouraging her, and it will be interesting to see how she begins this season. Lydia, however, is one of the stars of the Dynamite! team. She runs, dribbling the ball half way down the field, and sends the ball flying towards the goal. Sometimes it will miss, and the crowd of anxious parents and grands will groan audibly, but then she'll be right back in the game with another pass or goal attempt. What a joy to watch these two and their mama in this great activity! We'll let you know how the game and players do today!

I Am Very Frustrated!

Is orange an irate enough color to express anger and frustration? And, maybe, if I bold it, then the point will really be made! I am sick and tired of two things: political campaigning and medical TV commercials! Having begun like that, I guess these thoughts were precipitated by our watching the national news. It wasn't JUST tonight's programming which was so offensive; it is there almost every night now, as well as during the day, too, which I have observed during my morning exercise vigil with the "Today" show. It even bombards us in magazines, in newspapers, and online with pop-ups. First, I am just plain sick and tired of watching numerous candidates in Iowa, for example (a state with how many electoral votes?), determined to make the most of someone else's gaffs, statements, or appearances. What about Hilliary as a sex symbol because she showed too much cleavage? Give me a break! That is a no-brainer, or Bill wouldn't have been chasing interns. And Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Edwards? Really, they are NOT running, although they appear to be more intelligent than some of the candidates themselves. The same applies to Mrs. Guliani. And as for religion? That is not a Constitutional qualification, as Jack Kennedy used quite efficiently in 1960. Why aren't some of these people doing their jobs, which for many, should be adequately representing their constituents in Washington? (Of course, we have heard that many in NM would rather have Bill Richardson on the road instead of in Santa Fe!) And why don't the others even HAVE jobs? And, besides that, just because some of them have beaucoup $$$, why should that qualify them for office? It would seem that for someone to run for office, one would need to have millions stashed away, which brings up many other questions. How could a bright, honest, intelligent person even run for office now if he/she were not wealthy?Does integrity count at all any more? And, is there some other issue on which to run other than Bush's policies in Iraq? It seems like hardly anyone supports THAT any longer, and it must, therefore, be a given that policies will change. But what about other subjects of national concern? What about the homeless? What about crime? What about specifics on health care, especially for the elderly? That brings me to the next topic: prescription drugs. While we were in New York, talking with Mom, she brought up how much she has to pay for prescription drugs, and she is even on an insurance plan. Her drug costs are ranging over $3000, and she is even pretty healthy! Lately, I had to go through blood tests once every two months to try and find the right cholesterol drug, because our insurance would no longer pay for Lipitor, and the other drugs did not work as well. It seems to me that if the ever-so-wonderful Dr. Robert Jarvik would stop making commercials for Lipitor that the costs of the drug could be lowered. (I would like to see his face on a milk carton wanted picture right now, instead of on a commercial.) When we were in France, the medical costs for my broken finger were so much lower. Maybe they don't have as many hungry attorneys there, causing the malpractice insurance costs to rise astonomically. Hmmmmm....I am beginning to sound as sarcastic as Andy Rooney..... And, another thing.......

Traveling Companions

Anyone who has a blog name with "Happy Wanderer" in it obviously loves to travel, and we certainly do! How fortunate that over the years we have had family members and friends to accompany us. In the early years our travels were a bit more limited due to finances, so we only went to events like the Great Plains Food Festival and Rockies' games in Denver with son Jerry and wife Marlene. Great food and great fun! One of the highlights was watching our son accurately pitch a peanut from a second floor balcony into a beer mug on the bar below (it only took 99 tries!). Remarkable aim! As our finances improved, we began to tour Europe, once sharing the trip with Mom and daughter Kim. 1HW was visiting schools in Germany and France, while Kim was just finishing a Fulbright Scholarship in Paris, and Mom just wanted to go with us. That was one wonderful experience! Having a fluent French speaker to guide us around Paris gave us an enduring love for that city which still remains! There are many stories that will be saved for a later post. During another European trip with Mom shortly after the "Wall" came down, we went across Germany to the Czech Republic and stayed with the family of Kim's close friends Bertha and Mario. From there we drove across Europe, ending up in Italy to see Venice, Florence, Pisa, Elba, and Rome.... all full of more adventures. Our next trip was a month-long visit to the British Isles, driving around the English and Scottish countryside for two weeks, spending a week in Ireland, and finishing with a week in London. It was a fantastic trip! Six months later, newlyweds Kim and Chuck asked us to go on another European trip, and we all agreed upon Rome and Sicily. It was incredible! The last trip was two years ago when we traveled to France with good friends Susan and Cal for a barge trip in the Bordeaux area, and except for my broken finger, it was another exceptional trip. Certainly, although we have enjoyed our European travels, we have not neglected the beautiful United States. Our delightful friend Phyllis has joined us for several jaunts, including a MOST memorable visit to Seattle and Vancouver.... more later on THAT one! We have covered a good deal of Michigan, including the U.P., with Kim and Chuck, and we have had several excursions with Kristy, Tim, and family. So far, all of our traveling companions have been good-humored and accommodating, in that we limit ourselves to one castle and museum per day and usually stop for a cup of espresso or cafe au lait with croissants in the morning and a glass of wine or mug of beer in the afternoon. One must stop to enjoy the local customs, you know! Anyone out there ready for a trip?

The Curse of Grammar Woman

Most of us can recognize our elements of heredity, and I am so indebted to my father for an appreciation of history and patriotism and to my mother for brown eyes, a sense of humor, and a sense of grammar. From Day One, my mother always believed in correct speaking, and it absolutely appalled her when the English language, whether written or spoken, was misused and abused. None of the four siblings were ever allowed to use less-than-correct grammar in HER house. Well, it stuck, and encouraged by several excellent English teachers along the way (thanks, Mrs. Owens and Mrs. Bradford), I ended up as an English major during my first two years of college, albeit in the College of Education. During my first year at the University of New Mexico, my father had insisted that I try elementary education; however, it was not for me. I had the unfortunate habit of calling some classes "Show and Tell Time," which did not go over well with the professors. I did, however, manage to skip over the usual freshman English classes and begin to enjoy some sterling English professors. Dr. Hamlin Hill, an expert on Mark Twain and early Southwestern literature, was one of my favorites. What a pleasure it was to see and hear him on Ken Burns's program on Clemens/Twain! And how I loved the classes presented on American literature by Drs. George Arms and Ernest Baughman! By the end of sophomore year, though, I had realized that history was my forte and changed that to my major field, accompanied by a strong minor in English. Little did I know that for many years I would be teaching Engllish, as well as history. For some reason, the prospective coaches also chose the social studies classes, and we all know that coaches need to be a first priority, so there I was, teaching and immersed in English. Don't get me wrong... I loved teaching SOME English, just not all of the time. Regardless of the class I was teaching, however, whether English or history, anything a student wrote was corrected, whether a test, a homework assignment, or an official paper. It was, to me, unthinkable, that a student should ever have a paper returned without the grammar and writing being corrected, regardless of the subject. Needless to say, that provided me with many late evenings. One student in my early middle school teaching years was quite upset about the practice, however, and informed me that the least I could do would be to change the colors of my pen. She seemed to think that the red made it look as though I had bled all over her paper. So over the years I adopted the habit of using school colors, which proved to be less offensive. One of the most fun times I had was the creation of the character of "Grammar Woman," complete with a red cape, and who could "conjugate verbs in a single breath, name all of the adverbs in one gasp, and diagram sentences in a single minute." The kids actually began to get good at it, too, when playing a type of "Jeopardy" grammar game. It also made teaching it tolerable for me! However, in today's world, I find I am having problems. Rap? Ebonics? And, these awful phonetic and symbolic spellings just absolutely appall me, just as they would have my mother! For example, what about "X-mas 4 U?" That causes me immediate gastric disturbances! I can only hope that somehow all of these horrible trends will pass, and that once again grammar will rule supreme. Anyone need a Grammar Woman cape?

Wanderin' Back Home

We are both so very thankful for all of our family members, those who were present at these recent events, as well as those who were in our thoughts and prayers at distant locales. You are all so special to us, and we love you! Sometimes one just has to wonder how much can be packed into ten days' time, and I must say, I am amazed at our past week and a half! From the motorcade with Kristy, Tim, and children to Michigan and the lovely beginning of marriage there, to the extreme opposite with a glorious fifty-year marriage celebration in New York, we have been going nonstop and are actually ready for a few days of quiet!

1HW truly missed one of the highlights in Grand Rapids, that of the manicures, where the female wedding party members, along with the moms and grandmoms, had early pre-wedding magic accomplished! Also, what fun to share time with Tim's parents, as we four took the five grands out for pizza. The wedding itself was beautiful, and Ashley was a glowing and happy bride, in spite of the tears that most everyone shared! We welcome Kristy and Tim to the "in-law" status, or even the "out-law" status, which we sometimes feel!

Once we arrived in New York, we went promptly to work, from making cookies at Mom's to all of the food preparation in Newark Valley. Nieces Joan, Linda, Emily, and Deb had planned their minds and hearts out to give Anne and Maurice a sumptuous feast for the party, so all of us pitched in to help, even granddaughters Audrey and Faith. Sure glad I have paid attention to "plating" on the Food Channel! We had two celebration dinners, too... one with live lobster (yummy!) and one with pizza, both of which were enjoyed by all. And, we even finished setting everything up just before the first guests arrived, most of whom I had never seen before in my life! Thank goodness for in-laws at this party!!!

More than the details, though, I have thought over and over about what special times these two events have been, and how important it was to have so much family present. Both the wedding and the anniversary party combined family members from all over and from all sides of the family trees. Both were sentimental and loving, happy times for all of those present, and both left everyone with lasting memories that will remain and will bring smiles. How blessed we are to be part of such family events and celebrations! On top of so many happy memories in Michigan and New York, to then meet Kim, Chuck, and the boys in Indiana was just too much to believe!

Truly, 1HW and I are two of the most blessed people in the world!

The Feeling Side

For years everyone in our family has given me a bad time over something I have apparently NO control. I can cry at the drop of a hat. If it's a sad movie, I cry. If it's a wedding, I cry. If I watch the grands playing the piano at recitals or church, I cry. It's really quite pathetic, and it's also really quite predictable. Sometimes the family members have even gone to the extreme of guessing exactly which Christmas or birthday present is the most special by which one gets the most tears. The waterworks are not affected by where I am, either. Church, theaters, at home, in restaurants.,..it doesn't seem to matter. The worst cases, after, of course, the girls' graduations, weddings, and babies, have included the final chapters of the last Harry Potter book (where I sobbed), and the movies... Casa Blanca, GWTW, and, of course, the modern favorites of Steel Magnolias, Terms of Endearment, and The Notebook. Now, here I am, in Michigan, ready for the Sunday afternoon nuptuals of our oldest granddaughter, and I am absolutely determined NOT TO CRY! I know it will disappoint those near and dear who are ready for the upcoming waterfalls, but this time, NO! I am mentally and emotionally prepared! I will be happy and joyful for this special young couple. BUT, maybe, just maybe..... Maybe I had better stick with the waterproof mascara and carry my usual packet of tissues, just in case. But this time......

Now, What?

I have had so much encouragement about becoming a blogger; however, this beginning is very difficult for me to do, as I am just not used to expressing, let alone writing and sharing, what is going on inside my head. I am definitely not an intellectual, although it seems to me that the friends and family close to me are VERY intelligent! What a wonderful experience it is to be around all of them because my mind keeps expanding and learning from them! Even their blog sites are deep and thoughtful, which may not be my style! However, during my sixty-five years, I have met and known so many varied and fascinating people and had a myriad of experiences that perhaps others might enjoy sharing, so here I am! I think that for many years, I did not feel that my thoughts or opinions were worth too much, and that I was expected to fall in line with what others wanted and expected. It was the old "I get to be right, and you are WRONG! Do it my way or else!" syndrome which 1HW expressed in his blog, and I went through that for about 40 years. Then at the time of my mother's death, I realized she had been doing that same thing, too, and ended up with an early, untimely death at 60, just as she was beginning to find herself. At that point, I decided I needed to change. So, here I am today, a very happy, healthy wife, mother, grandmother, and I hope, friend. I still would often rather hear other people talk about themselves and their ideas, but I do now realize that my thoughts and opinions are just as worthwhile as others' are. And, although I do not usually volunteer my opinions on controversial subjects, if anyone is brave enough to ask me, then that poor soul should be prepared to duck or accept the consequences. Religion? Politics? Morals? Movies? Now I can even discuss those, so please beware!

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