A New Family Addition

Sometimes it takes a new experience to cause me to blog, and now is one of those times. Our granddaughter Ashley is expecting her first child imminently, and, as usual, I want to know what is happening. I really do not think that very many others in the family really understand why I am concerned, because very often they do not know WHY I am thinking the way I am. So this is my way of letting them know my feelings so perhaps they can better understand me, and my way of expressing my thoughts and concerns for me to release anxieties.

When I was pregnant with our first child, I was scared to death. I remember flying from Washington, D.C., to Albuquerque, only to see a doctor there who told me that I needed to leave for Oklahoma immediately, as that child was DUE! It did not make my then-husband at all happy to cancel his vacation time, but it had to be done. After arriving in Oklahoma City, the immediate need was to find a house (Day One), rent it, and begin to move in and sleep on the floor (by Day Three). On Day Four, I visited a doctor on the Air Force base, who informed me the delivery was imminent. By Day Five, the movers arrived and began unloading. One mover said, "You don't expect us to unpack this, do you?" I replied, "Do you know how to deliver a baby?" They unpacked very quickly. On Saturday, Day Five, some contractions began, and I began to be very nervous. There I was, in a completely new place in a new house, extremely tired, knowing no one, and about to have a first baby, not having a clue what to expect. With contractions still slowly occurring the next morning, I felt a great need to go to church, even though my then-husband thought I was nuts. My OB-GYN had by then called and asked me to report to the hospital by 1:00 pm that day. After church and after arriving home at 12:15, my then-husband needed to stay in the car for another half-hour to listen to a Bill Cosby routine on the radio while I went inside, said many more prayers, and made him his requested lunch. I was alone, scared to death, trying to be brave by myself. Later, daughter Kristy arrived, and I was delighted to find a beautiful baby girl, who must have sensed my nervousness and immediately experienced what seemed to be unending bouts of colic and projectile vomiting. It wasn't until the many visits of family members finally ceased, and the two of us could settle down to a normal routine, when the colic ceased, although the projections continued for months! I still think that much of that is caused by a mother's nervousness and stress! You can tell that I remember this quite vividly, even though it is nearly forty-one years later. So I think about Ashley now.

When it was getting near for second daughter Kimberly to arrive, I had much more confidence, in fact, too much confidence. I expected everything to go smoothly. I was not prepared to go into labor six weeks early while I was Christmas shopping at Penney's. The first item was to arrange for friends to take Kristy, and then I needed to report to the same hospital with the same doctor. But this time it was different: Kimberly was not fully developed, and our pediatrician had told me it was too early for her to be born. I was, once again, totally scared, and I prayed as I had never prayed before. She arrived and was whisked off to complete neonatal care under oxygen and constant intensive care, suffering from underdeveloped systems and hyaline membrane disease, which had all-too recently then caused the death of the Kennedy baby. They covered her eyes with make-shift sunglasses of band aids, with carefully-drawn sunglasses drawn on top, so that they could put her under fluorescent lights, a brand new technique to improve the liver functioning. She was the first to use that technique there. For a week it was nip and tuck, so that on the morning of December 24th, they thought she would need a total transfusion, which would be risky on her, as her weight had dropped. My husband insisted on having her baptized so "she would not go to hell." My Presbyterian beliefs resisted, saying that there was no way a baby could go to hell, but she was then baptized according to his wishes. (I still feel that way today, too, by the way!) What amazed me, thinking back, was from where my support came. It didn't come from the husband, who was convinced she would die, or from his parents who thought the same. It came from the Jewish OB who delivered her; from the pediatrician who nursed her day and night; from a Jewish ENT doctor, who came in once a day to talk and support me with Old Testament wisdom; and from my readings of the Bible and prayer. That is when I experienced a total change in my life and my beliefs, a change that was only enhanced by feelings when my mother died. I came to realize that my faith can support and sustain me when others fail me. That same faith and prayer was realized when on Christmas Eve, as wonderful Air Force hospital orderlies were ready to donate blood for her transfusion, Kimberly took a sudden turn and began to improve! A week later, on New Year's Eve, she was released to go home, at a little over five and a half pounds! She has always been my best Christmas present ever!

So, if any of you have wondered why I have called, checked on you, and worried over you when you were having your own sweet little dears, these stories might help explain why. I no longer just automatically expect every delivery and arrival to be easy and without complications. With each of the other twelve grand children's births (since Ashley's was before we knew her), I have never taken those events for granted. Each one has been an individual, special, blessed event to be praised and cherished. I am truly thankful for each one of you and for each one of yours. And I will be most thankful when Ashley has finally delivered her own little sweetie, too, but I will hover until that time, just because I am Grammy. Grammy does that, you know. And, Grammy will continue to do that with each new GREAT grand child as long as she lives, because each new one is precious! I just love all of you! Fortunately, I now also have Grandad (Gramps/1HW) who is right beside me, supporting me and loving all of you, too! So I am so very blessed!